Sam's OATH · A community choosing openness

Are you supporting
someone in silence?

Add your voice to the wall. Not theirs — yours. You don't have to do this alone.

The act of openness is naming yourself, not the person you support. They did not give us permission to use their name. You can use yours.

What's happening right now

This is the community.

Every pin, every story, every note is a real person who decided silence wasn't working anymore. Look at what they are building.

Recent Stories

Real families, in their own words.

Annie · Chapel Hill, NC

Gratitude for the Chaos

Someone Who Cares · Brooklyn, NY

What Sam Showed Me About Pretending

Sam was one of the first people who refused to pretend with me. After he died I realized how much of my own life I'd spent pretending — and how much I owed him for the chance to stop.

Someone Who Cares · Denver, CO

The Phone Call I Almost Didn't Make

There were six months when I knew something was wrong with Sam and didn't pick up the phone. I'm telling this story so someone else picks up theirs.

Someone Who Cares · Boston, MA

The Friend Who Wouldn't Look Away

Sam never asked anyone to fix him. He asked us to keep showing up. That's harder than it sounds, and more important than I knew.

Read all stories

Recent Encouragement

Words written for someone who needs them.

“To the parents reading this: I know what it is to lie awake. I know what it is to count the hours since the last text. I know what it is to choose, every single morning, to keep loving someone you cannot save. You are doing the hardest work there is. Please do not do it alone.”

- Frank, Sam's father

“We learned to say it is okay not to be okay. Sam said it first. He said it to friends in the worst moments of their lives. He said it to himself on his hardest days. If you need to hear it now: it is okay not to be okay. You are still loved. We are still here.”

- Frank, Sam's father

“To the friends watching this from the outside, not sure if you should reach out: reach out. Send the text. Call. Show up at the door with food. You are not bothering them. You are saving them. I promise.”

- Joey, Sam's brother

“Coming into a family already carrying this, I learned something quickly: love is not the same as fixing. Loving someone through substance use means showing up without an answer. It is the hardest kind of love, and it is real love. If that is what you are doing right now, you are doing enough.”

- Nancy, Sam's stepmother

Read all messages

Recent OATHs

People who just put their pin on the map.

Catherine

San Diego, CA

Rebecca

Chapel Hill, NC

Dallas, TX

Jennifer

Arlington, VA

Cesar

Newport, CA

Liz

The OATH Map

Each pin is someone who said: I'm done hiding.

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Supporting a loved oneStanding with othersSeeking hope & recovery

Explore the full map

If you came here looking for someone to say this to you…

We wrote this for you.

To the parent awake at 3am

“The weight you're holding isn't yours alone. The shame was never yours. You are not a bad parent - you are a parent who loves someone hard.”

To the person wondering if it's okay to ask for help

“It is. You are not a burden. You are allowed to take up space in your own life. The people who love you want to know.”

To the friend who doesn't know what to say

“Showing up is the answer. You don't need the perfect words. You just need to not disappear. Your presence is already louder than any silence.”

Sam

Sam Sheeder lit up every room he walked into. He was adventurous, fearless, and could strike up a conversation with anyone, from CEOs to those experiencing homelessness, making them feel seen and heard.

Sam also faced the hard road of substance use disorder with a courage and honesty most people never attempt. He talked about it openly. He refused to hide. And he taught his family that the opposite of addiction is not sobriety - it is community.

When we lost Sam in 2025, his father Frank made a choice: to honor Sam's openness by building a community around it. Sam's OATH exists because one family decided that silence was no longer an option.

Read Sam's full story

You came here for a reason.

You can leave the way you came, or you can leave one name behind. One name on the wall changes nothing for the world, and it can change everything for you. Add the first one you thought of when you opened this page.

Add a name

Sam's OATH is a 501(c)(3) public charity. Support our work so we can keep building this community.

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Are you supporting someone in silence?

This is the community.

Recent Stories

Recent Encouragement

Recent OATHs

The OATH Map

We wrote this for you.

Sam

You came here for a reason.

This is the community.

Recent Stories

Recent Encouragement

Recent OATHs

The OATH Map

Are you supporting
someone in silence?